My obsessions and compulsions

My mornings becomes hectic while I struggle hard to deal with my obsessive and compulsive behavior, this Is what happens every morning when I try to leave my home, however early I wake up I get this feeling that am gonna be late today, and this feeling makes me do things in a rush, there were days when I even forget the color of my toothbrush, but the funniest  thing I could remember is coming out of a shower without even splattering a drop of water onto my face, which I would realize only while trying to put my makeup on since it wouldn't sit on a dirty and oily face.

After overcoming with all this struggle, when it's time to get into the car and ready to go, there it comes I will be covered with all these creepy thoughts and crazy feelings. Ok did I turn off the stove after making omelette, I will try asking my husband ....hey dallu did i turn off the stove...I know even if he do not know, he would say yes for it, coz he has now got used to me asking him these questions daily. Then I would console myself saying that....if the stove was on, I would have sensed the heat while having my breakfast...then after driving for a few miles it attacks me again, oh god I forgot to turn off my flat iron.... Am sure I did not turn it off this time, should I ask my husband to take a "U" turn, we could go back and check, we haven't come so far. Then I build up the courage to ask my husband... dallu I think I didn't turn off my straightener, shall we go back and check, we haven't come far from home and moreover we have got time right.

Husband : No I can't coz I have to attend a meeting at 9:15 AM.

Me : but dallu it's just 8:38 AM now. 
Husband : are you kidding, we will be late for our daughter's school and then I have to drop you at the library and reach my office, so no way we are going back.

Now my mind tells me that I could have better stayed at home so that I would have never come across these creepy thoughts, in the amidst of these feelings, the fact about the auto shut off hits my mind, these days all the heating equipments comes with that feature right.....but mine is 4 years old, does it really have that feature...oh god I don't remember that. Now I decide myself saying that first thing to do after reaching the library is google about the features of that model.

After reaching library I tried to google about the product's features, but it resulted in two different models, both looked like the one I have, but unfortunately one of the model had the feature and the other did not, what if I had the "other" one.......jeez I started to panic more and tried to find answers in the yahoo.answers....seriously it helped me a lot coz  one girl had written that her friend burned down a whole house after leaving her straightener on. The thoughts of insurance started to run through my mind, did my husband include my newly bought sewing machine to the home value.....I know it's crazy after having so many valuable things, I just could only think of my $59 sewing machine. Now I really must be a jerk to think of such stupid things, but then I tried to bring my mind in peace by reading few more positive answers coz one girl had written that whatever may be the model, all the "Conair" products comes with the auto heat cut off feature so no harm in leaving it "On" for hours.

I had 3 more hours to kill before I could get home, but I don't know how to get rid of this creepy thought. I Went through some cooking and crafting books, listened to "I " movie songs and had a little talk in whispers with the old man, who used to sit on the same chair, with the same pair of denim blue jeans and a navy blue sweat shirt daily, that's how he got registered to my mind, since am no good at remembering neither people's face nor their names. He asked me whether I go to school and do my assignments here, since it's a quiet place. I replied back saying that no am not going to school, I just come here to spend my time in a more productive way, I don't know why the hell did I mention that, thinking what would be the next question from him. Oh that's good he said. I really didn't know how to build up a conversation with him since he looked and sounded really smart (smart ones scare me a lot), so I just pretended as if am busy with whatever I was doing. At last my mobile beeped, a message from my husband saying that he is waiting for me outside, the moment I have been waiting for, So I just rushed out packing my bag.

We picked our daughter and drove back home, where I couldn't think of anything else other than the flat iron, can't wait to reach home. My husband insisted me to warm his food before I could change my clothes, but if I say that I should go check on the flat iron first, he would kill me coz I could hear his stomach rumbling and would yell about my compulsive behavior. Then there comes the moment we reached home and I ran to the bathroom to check on the flat iron, it was " switched off ". My husband gave me this look, which said I told you that you would have turned it off already........ I was like even I knew that but my ******* OCD ( obsessive compulsive disorder ) makes me do that what can I do.

I decided to find a good solution for this, coz I can't go through this daily, from then every morning as soon I get into the shower I will make sure the first thing is to wash my face and then clean rest of my body. I have tied a tag to my toothbrush with my initial on it and for the stove thing I move the omelette pan to the next burner once am done, so that I could see the flame and notice it. My straightener I have stuck a label on it saying "OFF" in bright red, in case even if I forget to notice the label, coz sometimes I forget things when I admire myself after doing my hair. Made a solution even for that I stuck checklist on the back of my front door listing things like turning off stove, flat iron and feeding the fish and I knock the door once after locking it up to tell my mind that I did it for sure, coz sound gets registered well in my mind than actions.